Olivia and Debra, writers of Flirtexting: How to Text You Way to His Heart, speak about the proper ways to text message your crush:
Remember:
You can purchase the book on Amazon : http://www.amazon.com/Flirtexting-How-Text-Your-Heart/dp/1602393672 written by Olivia Baniuszewicz and Debra Goldstein
You know that look that she gives you when she is not pleased? Yeah, that one! The one that she can say so much, but so little with.
Why the Face?
Men:
Try to be sensitive to how we are. You don’t have to be sensitive to the point of feminine. You can still grab your balls and high five your friends, but remember we are not similar in your ways. We like to correct your actions and advise you on things.
Woman:
The more times you tell him, does not mean the more he will listen. Try once. If he doesn’t listen make changes in your routine that get him moving. He might not hear you, but he can see you; especially when you stop showing up at his place for sex. Wait to show up at his place until he does something to please you, like helps with your car or takes you to dinner. You move each chess piece only after he makes his move.
And Ladies, learn to laugh at yourself. We can help him, but we can’t change him.
If you are not capable of giving and receiving some of the basics in a relationship, maybe it is not time for you to be in one. No one is forcing you to be in a relationship. I hear people complain about significant others, but the real issues lie within yourself. Don’t let society, family, or friends force you into romantic relationships. You should enjoy being in a relationship.
Relationship essentials include:
Stop blaming other people; according to many studies we are drawn to people who have similar attributes and attitudes as us. “People choose mates whose self-esteem matches their own.” Page PhD
Some alternatives to relationships include casual dating or getting to know people through friendships first.
You can not find your self worth in another person, thing, job, or hobby. It has to come from within yourself. Whatever you do for a job is what you do, not who you are. You need to separate yourself from these things. As adults we are always asking, What do you do for a living? It is difficult to separate ourselves from our jobs, but we must do it.
Some of the items that let you know your self worth are:
Learn to appreciate these things to understand you are worth more than the things you do. Some signs that can tell you there is a lack of self-worth are the following. Use these items to help yourself and others explore their self worth:
You must go into a relationship valuing yourself if you want someone else to see value in you.
Just because one diet works well for someone else, doesn’t guarantee that it will work well for you.
Today’s explosion of diet fads and quick fixes, leads us to believe 2 things:
1. If it is working for someone else, it will be the answer to our problems
2. A quick fix is all we need to repair the current struggles
Relationships work and move differently for each unique couple. The gossip of a past relationship being bad for your current partner does not mean that it will also turn out in the same manner for you two. Make sure the relationship diet you adhere to is one that works specifically for your partnership.
Pick out the right Relationship Diet:
Know Yourself. The number of calories you take in depends on your weight and activity level. Also, the way you choose a good relationship diet should also depend on your personal strengths and weaknesses.
Make sure your Diet includes essentials. Take care of yourself. You can run 11 miles a day, but if you refuse to eat well along with that, you will fail. You need to be aware that relationship essentials include, communication, dedication, quality time, love, nurturing, and ongoing participation.
It’s Gray. Life is not black and white and relationships are definitely not. Learn to let go of your personal perfection in order to find the good in someone else.
Plan Ahead. Just like you need to plan out meals for a diet to be more effective, you can plan on certain aspects of a relationship by determining your actions in certain situations. In relationships we want to avoid conflict. Planning ahead can help you reduce high stress levels which can reduce adverse reactions.
In the world of proper self-care, the best relationship diet is a lifestyle diet. Quick repairs on ourselves will only make us able to run short distances. In the long haul we need to take proper measures to execute permanent growth changes.
It is more likely for someone not to approach another person because of a fear of being shot down. However, statistics show taking that leap will yield better results than the weight of conflict you hold in your head about being shot down.
We are often harder on ourselves about how others view us than the actual perceptions they have of us. If you get shot down, don’t take it too hard.
It likely has nothing to do with you, but the person you approached may be in a relationship, simply not interested in dating, or a number of other items that have nothing to do with you.
Do you ever wonder why you reminisce about your past relationships?
It is human nature to romanticize our past relationships; we typically do this more when life’s stresses get us down. Take these three steps towards leaving the past:
1. Conscious of Triggers
Be conscious of how different situations are going to affect you. If you can determine days, times, or situations that are going to lead into you wishfully dreaming about the past, then you can keep yourself in check. If you tend to think more about the past when hanging with other couples, maybe you need a little time away from other couples. If places remind you of your old boo, maybe it is time to find new places.
2. Spring Cleaning
“You can not make room in the fridge for healthy new items if the moldy old ones are still in the way.” Jane Page, Ph.D. Take your time to clean out the souvenirs and memories of the past. Don’t hold onto anything that reminds you of your past relationship, untag old Facebook photos and throw away that old t-shirt of his you still wear.
3. Move Into The Future
The problem with the past is, just that. Looking in the past is dull and lonely, it causes you to look back. In the mean time you will be running into people who are headed towards their future. Whatever is it you have fantasized about, it is over. We can’t go into the future until we have forgiven and let go of the past.
Embrace the future, it holds much more wonder and excitement. You have the opportunity to fall in love with someone you have never met, or met in passing. It’s your new beginning.
I’ve read in books before that we are supposed to treat our dating life like an interview. Treating a date like an interview is going to leave out the best parts of our dating life; the excitement and fun of getting to know someone. It will be so timed that it will feel just like an interview. The truth lies in the compatibility and attraction. Although, some of the important interview rules can apply:
No Texting: Put down the freakin’ phone and enjoy yourself and the company of your date. Too much texting or phone touch can give a message of uninterest to your date.
Dress Code: Relax and put on a nice pair of jeans, and a great top. Make sure to wear something you are comfortable in so your clothes don’t have you fidgeting all evening.
Answer in Few Words: Answer questions you are asked in short answers. There will be plenty of time to get to know one another. You want a call back, I suggest locking up the chatty lips.
Take the Job: After you leave the interview they give you a couple of days. Be patient for the call back, and be patient in initiating the call back.
These interview tactics can help you wing through the first date, but be sure that you choose the dating partner you want. Unlike our jobs in today’s economy the wonderful world of singles is still on an economic upswing.
A strong sense of attraction can make you override your logic and ignore your instincts. Faults that spell trouble can be ignored. So how do we decide if this is a long term thing or a short term fling?
Here are the signs of a man or woman who might leave you broken-hearted:
Unavailability. If they’re into you, they will make time to see you.
Inconsistency. Inconsistency in relationships with friends and family, is likely to make them inconsistent with you. Make sure to get a sense of them in “their scene” to scope out potential problems.
Quickness. Don’t use emotional triggers to force a person to fall for you. This may make lead to impulse reactions and can lead to letting you in out of fear rather than real love.
Variety. Someone who likes variety likes it all the time. They most likely will meet their match one day, but as long as you are one of many, the relationship potential equals zero.
Don’t let these signs get you down, sizing up their potential prior to sudden commitments can lead to better results with future relationships.
After time the relationship gets to a point where one person or both people start to ask about the other’s pasts, where curiosity about who they are texting is high, and where the latest Facebook status from the opposite sex becomes the topic of a fight. Different personalities and different people act differently to this. You might be someone not jaded by whatever your significant other does, but the majority of people tend to go the other way. There is worry that sets in with possible beliefs of cheating or meeting someone else.
I advise being open and honest with one another. Neither party should have anything to hide. It is a struggle of power. Healthy relationships are ones where it is a partnership and not a battle. You won’t feel the need to go through someone’s phone or Facebook if you trust them, and they won’t feel the need to have other opposite sex blowing up their fb-wall or phone because they respect you. Trust comes with mutual respect.
If you come with trust issues from a past relationship, that is something you need to work through before being in a relationship. Maybe a new partner can work through those issues with you, but there has to be a mutual understanding to avoid arguing; you can’t expect a person to help you with your issues without knowing the role they are playing.
If you are with someone who makes you spend more time worrying than loving, you should walk away. Respect, communication, and trust are essential, not only for our relationships, but for our overall well-being.
