It is biologically and psychologically possible to love two people at the same time. I am talking about romantic love, but it is really love? It seems logical; you love multiple family members in the same relational love, so why couldn’t you love two people in the same romantic manner?
I don’t think you necessarily love those two individuals in the exact same way. Think about it, you have been with one for over a year and you feel yourself crushing on another person. This is very natural, biological response. You miss the infatuation stage and you long to get that feeling back.
You can do 3 things:
- Have those feelings and let them take over you. An example is: leaving your current partner for the other person.
- Have those feelings but know that the irrational actions that could take place would serve you for only as long as they did in the first relationship. If you get bored after two years, you will always get bored. You will always have some need to infatuate over some other person or some better relationship. You can manage those feelings without acting on them.
- Don’t promise monogamous relationships to other people. This way you can be in love with as many people as you want at one time.
Make your decision wisely from your heart and head. Take a lot of time to consider all of the options and consequences. Being honest with everyone is the best thing.
Often times, because society teaches us that we marry and settle down, some of the individuals that would be better off running in the open field their whole lives, settle down anyway. Is it dangerous to tame these people? Or can they behave by learning to change their cognition and actions?
I am a hopeless romantic and I believe in true love. My grandma used to say she was blessed to have been in love with two men in her lifetime. (She remarried after she was a widow). It is very possible to love multiple people in your life, and as possible to love two at the same time. If you are in a relationship, your infatuation or just “loving” nature should not be the reason for you to drag in another person. Singles, love away.
Stay single if you know you commonly don’t like to be tied down. You may actually meet your match one day.
“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.” Johnny Depp
Sorry Johnny, I disagree. Stay with the one who climbs the wall for you and doesn’t just stand there, the one who you can jump on the bed with, the one who knows what you need, want, and sometimes can’t handle and is there every step of the way. The one who makes you feel like a kid again. Choose the one that gives you butterflies not just for a few months, but for eternity. Choose that one and stay with them forever.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals... Call us what you will.... We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in the Huntington Beach, CA area.