When a dog has a gate up, he is bound to try to figure his way out of it. If you never put up a gate, a man will never have any reason to try to get out of it. Don’t give your man too many boundaries or rules for the relationship, because that will make him want to break them.
I had a friend, her boyfriend wanted to get together. He wanted to hang out tonight, but she told him that she would be with a girlfriend and tonight wouldn’t work, tomorrow?
He replied, “Well I am busy tomorrow, so it will have to be tonight.”
She called me confused because she didn’t want to let him down, and his sense of urgency seemed sincere.
Let me tell you this, Urgency is for fireman and doctors.
As far as relationship time and talks go, both parties need to be respectful of a good time for both parties. I told her to calmly say, “It will have to wait until next week then.”
The next day his schedule suddenly freed up and he was able to get together. Funny how that works. You might not be able to teach a man new tricks, but if you remain calm and cool you can teach him how to respect that you have a life too. This works both ways.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.