When is a Date Actually a Date?

By date, I am talking about: a meeting romantic in nature where a pair of individuals is seeking some sort of romantic connection or intention as a result of such a meeting.  It is not a date until it is understood as such by both parties

Types of Dates:

Articulated.  When it is a date it is sometimes specifically articulated from the individual asking.  There is a formal conversation about interest and intention.

Non-Articulated. Although the articulated date is fairly easy to comprehend, a non-articulated is more difficult.  Usually this date looks like two individuals hanging out and is less formal.  Intention is not always verbalized or clear, but there are signs you can pay attention to.  The signs will warrant an understanding of the person’s possible interest and a formal date should be articulated if you have interest in a potential relationship.

Just because two people of the opposite sex go to dinner, grab coffee, or hang out, it does not automatically qualify as a date.

Signs to Pay attention to:

Chemistry. Use your head.  You shouldn’t have to force someone into having a connection with you.  It will be a very natural thing from both parties.

Body Language.  Someone who is a  with everyone will not help you determine if they are willing to partake in a date with you.  Someone who specifically seeks out being near to you, close by, or gives subtle touches may just be considering dating potential.

Contact. People can be receptive to understanding the relationship better through the way you communicate.  Texting can be less formal.

Friends. Some people will wait to bring you around their friends, but some people like their friend’s opinion in the beginning.  So don’t feel bad if they want to wait, but when you get to meet the friends it is a positive movement towards that person having possible interest in dating you.


If you want a man to be assured that it is not a date, when he offers to pay, politely decline.  He can get the wrong idea if you let him foot the bill.  The same goes for you men, don’t foot the bill if you want her to be aware that she is in the friend zone.

Love Relationships

thecynicaltherapist View All →

The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.

2 Comments Leave a comment

  1. I had this question from some readers, so I am happy to hear that you found it helpful. We always enjoy getting a man’s perspective. Everything is so much less formal these days that it is difficult to know specifically what a date looks like.

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