Laurie Wilson, LMFT

This is a how-to on getting an ex back.  These are quick tips that you can do with yourself.  This won’t necessarily mean that they will reciprocate, but if you want to try, its worth a shot.

• Capital SEXY. Be sexy.  This doesn’t mean wearing clothes that show more skin or taking more of those muscle pictures via cell phone in the mirror.  Try wearing more confidence.  Be natural and yourself; figure that out and you have the secret to capital SEXY.
• Take care of you.  Don’t get caught up in impressing the ex; impressing them will start with yourself.  Taking care of yourself, maintaining your own hobbies, and spending free time with your friends will get more attention then draining your calendar with your ex’s events and past times.
• The chase. No matter what way you look at it, everyone enjoys some sort of chase.  This can be as minimal as a mile jog or as long as a marathon.  Either way, don’t be available.  If you can be busy, the chase will fall into place all on it’s own.
• Too much info.  Answer questions with shorts answers and never go into too much detail.  Make your ex curious.  Never give too much info on other people you are dating or hanging out with.  Information has a way of getting out without you disclosing everything to someone, let it happen naturally.
• Can’t have it. People want what they can’t have.  Give it awhile.  Let them not have it.

Hanging out with the ex? Begin with something non-committal in a group to feel out if your ex is flirty with you or has eyes for some else.  Be savvy to body language and flirting.  Make it classy and be sophisticated; this will yield a good partner that falls back to love you and not just lust you.

Don’t

• Flirt with other people in front of the ex you want back.  It’s tacky and won’t help.
• Try too hard.  Everyone can see right through someone who is trying too hard.
• Cook dinner, do laundry or begin with anything the involves taking care of your ex.