On-line dating has become an outlet for many Americans. Whether it is a time constraints or a social interaction that seems to create less anxiety, beginning the dating process via world-wide web has become increasingly popular.
“On-line dating is now responsible for about a fifth of all marriages in the United States” (Chadwick, 2010, Match.com and Chadwick Martin Bailey 2009-2010 Studies).
I advocate on-line dating, not as the sole way to choose a partner, but to find potential dates. For example, someone who does not have a lot of time, can weed out partners that may not be great fits. A current E-Harmony commercial demonstrates that the on-line dating experience is about finding better dates, not more dates.
A great pre-marital counseling tool known as Prepare and Enrich tells us how similarities in certain areas such as finances and religion will lead to longevity in marriages. I bring this up because on-line dating sites like E-Harmony and Match.com have long questionnaires that you fill out; helping you get matched with people who would be good potential dating partners for you. Sites like Plenty of Fish or Ok Cupid have a tendency to be free-for-all’s where anyone can contact. Questionnaires are too short and inaccurate to measure much.
How do I know? I was personally a member of each of the four sites to test the reliability and consideration of matches. Please get back to us with any feedback on on-line dating experiences or personal thoughts.
4 responses to “On-Line Dating”
I tried online dating and didn’t like it very much. There was this research study where they had 6 jams in a grocery store taste table and over 20 at another–even though way more people went to try the jams at the table w/ 20, almost all the jam purchases were made at the table with 6. People are overwhelmed by too many options–I think online dating is a bit like that, you can date a lot, but it’s hard to actually choose someone b/c you have so many potential dates you could be going on!
Great analogy! I agree that it can be very overwhelming. There are studies that talk about how to maximize your profile so you are connecting with people that would fit you better. I noticed that E- Harmony and Match didn’t give so much freedom or options for people to contact you.
I think the potentially positive thing about online dating is the “traffic” and exposure… like sales – it is all about the numbers. Hopefully, once you have sifted through the bulk you will find the diamond in the rough.
I have tried several similar sites to the ones you refer to and do not believe that questionaires/profiles and photo’s are going to prepare you for “the real person” you are going to meet.
Another thing I know about online dating is that “women” should not take the process too seriously or they will end up disappointed/thinking it is them… (especially if you are over “40” Unfortunately “dating” is not what it used to be and the rules have changed.
My experience has taught me to be very wary – don’t give you number out too soon and choose a place that suits you (let someone know where you will be) etc… BE SAFE.
Thank you and great feedback. I agree that we have to be safe. I like how you said “dating is not what it used to be.” So true and sometimes it feels so complicated.