Laurie Wilson, LMFT

Communication is something that people tend to have a difficult time with in relationships.  Not only in our romantic relationships, but at work and school, there are people we tend to get along better with and ones we don’t.  The differences in personality and differences in tendencies cause these difficulties.  However, in a romantic relationship, your personalities have already found a common ground and that is the easy part.  The communication is the part that takes work in order to have a healthy and happy relationship.

Men are typically the “problem solvers” while women are typically the “listeners”.  Women have typical complains that men “just don’t listen.”  I understand that trying to shift your normal communication tendencies can be difficult, but it will make the relationship more enjoyable for all parties.

What Woman Want:

• To be listened to.
• Someone to provide sympathy or empathy.
• Words of understanding or validation of her feelings.
• Not to be interrupted, or questioned.

Here is a link to a PDF written by Dr. John Gray who wrote Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: http://www.cleargoalscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Men-are-from-Mars-and-Women-Venue-1.pdf

Understanding how to communicate better with your partner takes work.  If you are too proud or lazy to put in the work, your relationship will suffer.  Have an open mind when it comes to improving your relationship.  Communication is a skill that can be learned.  Learning each other’s tendencies when it comes to communicating can make for a much smoother transition while getting to know one another.  We have to make changes when our life is paired up with another’s life.  There is no room for being stubborn in these instances.  This is an easy fix if each party can learn to speak the other’s communication language.