Ask! Don’t Tell

A huge communication barrier in relationships occurs when one party feels told what to do.  If one partner is too direct in their delivery or is telling the other partner what to do, that partner will probably respond defensively.

The easiest way to resolve this too often communication problem is to:

Ask, don’t tell. 

Ask your partner if they want to run the race with you, don’t just tell them.  If you feel the need to boss your partner around, you need to address this and back off of it.  The best communication occurs when mutual respect exists first.

If you ask your partner and they tell you no, do not respond with a scoff or an eye roll.  Be conscious of your non-verbal signals.  Also, if you are the partner who has to say no, be sensitive with your no’s.    When saying no, don’t just say it out of spite.  Give a legitimate reason why you can’t do something and even try to offer an alternative.

Let’s Review 

  • Ask! Don’t Tell
  • Don’t be irritated by hearing an answer you don’t like
  • Be mindful of the way you say no and suggest alternatives


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