Laurie Wilson, LMFT

Tonight is Friday.  I am single.  So I have so many options.  So many options.  What about setting up an online profile so these Friday’s don’t seem so lonely?  I could jet out to the local bars to harness whatever small amount of luck I have left in me?  I could swipe a tinder app, or upload a boyfriend?  As I sit in my living room Frosty the Snowman by Beegie Adair Trio plays in the background.  My roommate makes dinner for her date, herself, and myself.  The Christmas tree is lit in the corner aligned with presents.  My roommate loves Christmas.  I could take her evening happiness away by being a bitter single.  I could scoff at every couple that passes me and snuggles with hot chocolate and hand holding.  However, as I sit here, I have decided to do none of that.  I have a heart of compassion and understanding that has taken years to cultivate.  The expectation is to be bitter after the reason for my recent break-up, but I refuse.  I refuse to be angry.  I also refuse to seek out filling the void through another relationship.  I was offered for one of the couples this evening to bring me a date, and I kindly declined.  It was time to take a break from the dating world.  I look at it like switching up your routine at the gym so your results can be better.  This year launched a long line of failed dating attempts.  It was time to go back to the drawing board.  It was time to figure out what new self-discoveries could yield a more stable and loyal relationship.  Like I always say, the common denominator in our failed relationships is us.  Through weeks of sadness and honesty I have gotten to this point.  Here I am single, not about to mingle.  I am excited to head out tonight to see the beautiful Balboa Christmas Boat Parade with two couples this evening.  I am happy to be a fifth wheel.

Being single in a coupled world seems hard.  It’s really all what you make it.  When did it become so complicated that we had to seek out the next partner before spending some honest time with ourselves cultivating self-love?  We should wait until we have an understanding of why the last relationship didn’t work out.  Being the fifth wheel has it perks.  No worry about that awkward end of the night kiss.  No obligations to meet or expectations that could go unmet.  Spending  time with yourself harnessing a new passion for life and a better understanding of love.  Spending time with your friends and family.  It’s really all what you make it.