Laurie Wilson, LMFT

Breakups are some of the hardest trials in life; they test our ability to cope with loss and stress.  They are emotionally difficult.  Trying not to sound too objective, I understand from experience what it is like to go through a breakup.  It is hard to see any bright side at the time of the loss of a relationship, but this bad experience will lead to better experiences in the future.  Until then try these ideas to cope with a breakup:

• Fake letters.  Keep a journal or write out letters to your ex.  Write as many letters as it takes or type up fake emails. These can release every emotion you have and express exactly what you feel without hurting anyone directly.  It also keeps the person from responding because if broke up with the person, it is likely that the person was not responding to your needs in a constructive way.  You don’t need a response to get the emotional release.
• Body pillow.  If you are used to cuddling or sleeping next to someone, the actual object can have a significant impact on your emotional well-being.  Tricking your brain with the physical can help with the emotional.  Snuggle up to a pillow or two and give your brain those feel good chemicals it is used to.
• Avoid alcohol and mind-altering substances.  Having a clear mind is important in getting over difficult emotional struggles.  A clear mind can lessen the duration of pain.  This is a good time for you to get a clear head and make clear choices.
• Surround yourself with positive people.  Your friends and family are great people to reach out to.  Familiar and positive people can help you push through a difficult time.  Don’t isolate and reach out to your loved ones often.
• Stay occupied.  Keep yourself busy. You will have time later to work through all the emotions; sitting and ruminating about a bad situation will not help you start the healing process.
• Mini-Vacation.  Take a short trip and go with a friend.  Clear your head and break away from the situation before coming back to begin the coping process.