Tagged: break ups

Break-Up Bod

Forbes magazine debunked the idea that a habit can be formed in 21 days.  That goes to show us that quick fix self-help won’t ingrain habits in the long run. However, active and consistent participation in self-help can maintain habits and provoke change.  With honest conviction, we can change.  So, yes, this will be hard, but I am going to get up and work out in the morning! 

Unfortunately, no Smart phone app will directly induce weight loss, secure relationship happiness or help with job perseverance. Sure, devices make situations easier, but we can’t just turn on the treadmill and watch it rotate.

Too often we make temporary changes that won’t form lasting habits.  We get motivated to work out because of our recent break-up.  We stop smoking because of a bad cough.  Don’t wait to form habits, form them daily!


Here are some tips to form habits and sustain them:

  • Too Much Too Soon.  Sometimes we start with high expectations for ourselves or we get burnt out on the rigid regiment that we have set for ourselves.  Cut your beginning goals in half and build them over time.  Start small.


  • Know Yourself.  Do you like variety? Do you need to be pushed?  If you are not self-motivated to work out, a plain gym membership is not going to do you any good.  You need classes, trainers, or a work out buddy.  You need accountability.   My friend went to this amazing local Pilates class.  They had a cancellation fee so with finances being her priority, she got her butt to class.  Do what works for you. 


  • Discipline.  You have to be willing to meet your goals by setting them and achieving them often. Use SMART goals as a way to set up these goals.  Set them often.  Set them SMART. 


  • Excuses.  Successful people will be the first to tell you that they don’t use excuses.  You move forward, you take risks and you take responsibility.  Change happens when we stop excusing and start doing.  


  • Give Yourself Grace.  If you get stuck in a rut, have a pre-planned way to get out of it.  Shame will keep you stuck.   Give yourself grace to move forward. 


  • Reward Yourself. As adults we can have anything we want anytime we want it.  Be your own parent.  Allow yourself to have a treat, whether it is a new outfit or a fun vacation, but not until you reach a certain goal.   If you are motivated for the reward, the system works.  


I hope this article inspires your break-up bod to be your all- time bod! Get motivated and embrace change!


Leave the Past in the Past

Do you ever wonder why you reminisce about your past relationships?  

It is human nature to romanticize our past relationships; we typically do this more when life’s stresses get us down.  Take these three steps towards leaving the past: 

1. Conscious of Triggers

Be conscious of how different situations are going to affect you.  If you can determine days, times, or situations that are going to lead into you wishfully dreaming about the past, then you can keep yourself in check. If you tend to think more about the past when hanging with other couples, maybe you need a little time away from other couples.  If places remind you of your old boo, maybe it is time to find new places.   

2. Spring Cleaning

“You can not make room in the fridge for healthy new items if the moldy old ones are still in the way.” Jane Page, Ph.D.  Take your time to clean out the souvenirs and memories of the past.  Don’t hold onto anything that reminds you of your past relationship, untag old Facebook photos and throw away that old t-shirt of his you still wear.  

3. Move Into The Future

The problem with the past is, just that.  Looking in the past is dull and lonely, it causes you to look back.  In the mean time you will be running into people who are headed towards their future.  Whatever is it you have fantasized about, it is over.  We can’t go into the future until we have forgiven and let go of the past.  

Embrace the future, it holds much more wonder and excitement.  You have the opportunity to fall in love with someone you have never met, or met in passing.  It’s your new beginning.