How attached are you to your cell phone? Let’s be honest, more than likely it’s near you 24/7. You probably even sleep with it by your bed. Don’t give me the “alarm clock” excuse. They still make alarm clocks you know, and they work just as well as that ridiculous ring-tone on your cell.
My point is: too much time on your electronic devices, constant texting, or too much Facebook stalking could be causing strain on your relationship. Too much technology pushes us away from having to employ actual social skills. The actual social skills are what we need to have good communication in our relationships.
It’s not even the individual time you spend with these things, but how much time do you and your partner spend in the same room both surfing facebook or typing texts?
If this photo looks at all familiar, it is time to evaluate just how much time a week you spend communicating with electronics rather than people. Relationships require active communication, listening. and interacting with one another.
Are you in a long distance relationship? Or do you find yourself having trouble when your loved one is away? Some studies have been done on long distance relationships that show they still have:
There are multiple reasons that people are in long distance relationships. Today the economy can be a common factor, but time apart can be a great way to stay independent and deal with the tension that can come from having such a close connection. With today’s social medias of Facebook, face-time, Skype, cell-phones, and email it is easier to stay connected if a relationship has to be long distance. If you feel like your distance is devastating, remember that you are not alone and that nearly 7 million couples consider themselves to be in long distance relationships. (Devito, The Interpersonal Communication Book, p.262).
So what do you do to keep your spirits up and your relationship strong?
Make Dates. Try to plan certain days and times throughout the week that you will dedicate to talking to each other on face-to-face communication so you can see one another.
Text Often. Texts are nice subtle reminders that you are thinking about your partner or a quick “I love you” on the days that are very busy.
- Say Good-Morning and Good-Night. Make sure you ease the jealousy that can come into long distance relationships by making that person the last one you come in contact with at night and the first in the morning.
- Love Letter. Snail mail is a nice, old-school way to take some time and hand write a letter that they can read over and over again. And it wouldn’t hurt to send a photo of yourself they can hang somewhere to see you each day.
Some recent articles have dismissed the ideas that monogamy is still good and possible. It is a good tradition, but also the possibility of it working lies strongly within the individuals in the relationship.
This practice is what sets humans apart from other animal species. As April Beyer points out, traditions are traditions because they work. Although animals can differ in their mating practices, nearly 90 percent of animals practice socially monogamy. This means that they live and practice a “family” life with two “adults” in a single living arrangement.
Mating systems used to be different, where as behavior was engaged in simply to stimulate reproductive success. Today the idea of monogamy is not only social acceptable but a successful marriage depends heavily on it. Some people qualify monogamy as a part of love that embodies certain moral and ethical practices. Whatever your reasoning is for considering monogamy to be an outdated tradition, I simply ask you to consult all the numerous books, articles, traditions, values, and reliable information on how monogamy is important in our culture.
Monogamy should not only be something we approach, but something we value and respect.
Women are very different than men. We utilize our emotional sides whether we want to or not. We want to have frequent talks about what is bothering us. And we want to constantly tell you about our feelings. We need affirmation at least four times a week. We have a difficult time (having had guys friends) not wanting to call you when you are at your bachelor party doing “nothing wrong.” We try not to be over-bearing, but it seems like no matter what we do, you find a way to blame us for all the idiosyncrasies that you initially didn’t mind.
In your world, we become annoying and intense rather than loving.
But in our world, we are trying to understand the many and different emotional states that we go through as a result of getting close to someone.
To make up for some of these differences men and women can try the following:
- Try to be sensitive
- Acknowledge that you care
- Be a good friend
- Confide more in girlfriends (it is important to have a connection to other women because only other people in the same herd can fully understand our complicated states)
- Stay busy with hobbies
- Practice self-care to properly handle different emotional states
- Don’t confuse sex for love