Tagged: the knot

To Have and To Hold

I recently attended the wedding of a great friend.  This beautiful event was supported by a spectacular venue, decorations, and charming dresses.  And most importantly, loving people.  As the event began, the pastor took her spot under an elegant wood arch aligned with flowers.  She opened with a speech to remind the audience, friends and family of our role in this matrimony.  As we listened, we became confidants.  As we watched the couple exchange vows, we became advocates for their happiness.  We were not just gathered here to witness, but to become collaborators in the entirety of this marriage journey.

We are called to provide support, to help in times of struggle, heal in times of pain and celebrate in times of joy to those of our friends who include us in their special day.  We have a part in this union and this family throughout the many years they remain married.

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This, of course, got me thinking.  I thought about all the people seated in the chairs beside me and standing near the couple.  I thought about their journey and the importance of the role I was about to play in the lives of others.

Marriage is a time for happiness and celebration.  But Marriage is most importantly a time when our selfish ways are put aside and we grow in love.  Relationships that support the marriage are essential for that growth to happen.

As I continue to read books from leaders, mentors, and professional athletes, I learn that people need direction from different avenues and various people.  We are all shaped by our families, our communities, our teachers, and our peers.  We are all snapped by our relationships.

I have been to numerous weddings throughout the past 10 years, and I had to ask myself how have I continued to support those individuals and families?

When we put on suits and ties, pretty dresses and dazzling shoes, we are not just attending one event for that relationship, but we are asked to continue to provide support and understanding for the marriage journey and each of its partners.

I was moved by the pastor engaging the attendies in the discussion to support marriage in it’s longevity.  Community is an intricate part of supporting marriages.  We can not do this alone.

 

My name is Laurie Kjelstrom, M.A.  I am a Marriage and Family Therapist Intern who is passionate about helping Marriages sustain happiness and helping families live healthy lives.  

If you are in California, please call me today for a consultation: 714-747-4393

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How to Prepare the Maid of Honor or Best Man Speech

If you were chosen as the maid of honor or best man in an upcoming friends’ wedding it means that you hold a place very near to their hearts.  Maybe you grew up with one of them, maybe you are a sibling, maybe you were a college friend or colleague or maybe you stepped into their life only a few years ago. No matter what the reason that they chose you, it is up to you to make sure you honor them.  You can honor this by preparing a speech that highlights both their love for one another and your love for them.

Here are some things to remember when preparing the speech:

1. Practice, Practice, Practice.  This is not a college exam; you don’t cram the night before.  You have to put thought and time into this one.  The engagement is typically about a year, but even with half that time, it’s enough to prepare and practice for the big day.

2. Google it.  If you have no clue where to begin do what all the great writers do, read!  Reading helps spark your brain with vocabulary and verbiage. Skim the internet and get some sense for what others say, but in the end make sure it’s your own.  This is to get your creativity flowing, not to steal someone else’s amazing speech.

3. Reminisce. Look back at old photos of you and the groom/bride or the couple.  The past can give you some good ideas for where to go with the speech.  Reminiscing can help you get some ideas and add the pizzazz of the past.

4. Ask. Ask the other people in the wedding party for things they enjoy about the couple or their favorite memories.  You can gain insight on how to introduce the new couple.

Here are some things to remember when giving the speech: 

1. Hold off on the boozing until after the speech. You have to get through the whole day, which can begin on a golf course with the guys or in the salon with the ladies.  Wait until after your speech to give into the free bar.  There is nothing worse than getting up in front of someone who wanted you to represent them that day, and turn out to be blasted or buzzed.

2. Watch the content and the language. Remember that the audience does not just consist of your frat bros or close friends.  There is family, co-workers, and friends.  Even if one set of parents enjoy a dirty joke now and again, the etiquette at a wedding calls for more.  There are grandparents and many friends that will see inside or crude jokes as unfunny and unfriendly.  Be mindful of the audience.  Anything you could not say in front of a child or a grandparent is better left out.

3. Don’t talk too much or too little.  Remember that you have other people giving speeches too.  Think about talking for a maximum of five minutes.  Ask the bride or the groom what they expect and follow along with other wedding part speech lengths.

All in all remember that this is a very special day for the couple.  They only get to do this once. No do-overs, so practice and make your speech another great memory for the wedding day.

How to Know If Your Relationship Will Last

Relationships go through a lot of different trials, but some situations can bring out someone’s nature more quickly.  Look at this list to make sure you see your significant other in the given situations or scenarios:

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  • Friends and Family.  You should spend ample time with your partners’ family and friends.  Look at how they interact with those closest to them.
  • Wedding.  You should accompany each other to at least one wedding before ever thinking about tying the knot yourself.
  • Traveling.  Go on a trip or two with your significant other (preferably a week or more).  See how they pack, travel, and work through unfamiliar places.
  • Work stress. Work is a large part of most of our lives.  Understand how your partner reacts to pressures at work.  Do they give up?  Or do they git-r-done?  This says a lot about the character of a person and how they adapt or handle stress.
  • Silence.  Relax and let the silence be and see how they handle the situation.

But what are you looking for in these scenarios?  You are looking into their relationships with others and their reactions to stress or life.  This can tell you a great deal about how they will interact with you in the long run.  How they react to situations tells a lot about how they will react to the situations that come up in the relationship.