I recently attended the wedding of a great friend. This beautiful event was supported by a spectacular venue, decorations, and charming dresses. And most importantly, loving people. As the event began, the pastor took her spot under an elegant wood arch aligned with flowers. She opened with a speech to remind the audience, friends and family of our role in this matrimony. As we listened, we became confidants. As we watched the couple exchange vows, we became advocates for their happiness. We were not just gathered here to witness, but to become collaborators in the entirety of this marriage journey.
We are called to provide support, to help in times of struggle, heal in times of pain and celebrate in times of joy to those of our friends who include us in their special day. We have a part in this union and this family throughout the many years they remain married.
This, of course, got me thinking. I thought about all the people seated in the chairs beside me and standing near the couple. I thought about their journey and the importance of the role I was about to play in the lives of others.
Marriage is a time for happiness and celebration. But Marriage is most importantly a time when our selfish ways are put aside and we grow in love. Relationships that support the marriage are essential for that growth to happen.
As I continue to read books from leaders, mentors, and professional athletes, I learn that people need direction from different avenues and various people. We are all shaped by our families, our communities, our teachers, and our peers. We are all snapped by our relationships.
I have been to numerous weddings throughout the past 10 years, and I had to ask myself how have I continued to support those individuals and families?
When we put on suits and ties, pretty dresses and dazzling shoes, we are not just attending one event for that relationship, but we are asked to continue to provide support and understanding for the marriage journey and each of its partners.
I was moved by the pastor engaging the attendies in the discussion to support marriage in it’s longevity. Community is an intricate part of supporting marriages. We can not do this alone.
My name is Laurie Kjelstrom, M.A. I am a Marriage and Family Therapist Intern who is passionate about helping Marriages sustain happiness and helping families live healthy lives.
If you are in California, please call me today for a consultation: 714-747-4393
I went for a late night run with my roommate last night. We ran through our town and down pacific coast highway; our usual route when we want to get a couple of miles in after a day’s work. We have taken this route many times before. As we jog down the end of a long stretch before heading back, something happens. And it happens multiple times. From the line of cars slowing to a stop near us…. it begins…. its difficult to make at first but then the roaring becomes clear….. the set up strikes and the men begin making the most annoying and inconsiderate noise out of their silly little mouths… there it was… the Cat Call. Multiple shouts of unknown origin came somewhere from the many vehicles. As my friend and I blast through the sidewalks, we begin rolling our eyes. We image that this sorry excuse for a way to tell a woman she is “hot” is anything but the sort. By the end of hearing three or four repeat attempts to gain our attention, we remain uncomfortable; wanting to give those boys a punch in the face. Yes, boys. We blow it off and go on about our work-out. By the end of our run, I start to wonder…. Where did that cat call come from? And Why do men think that its okay to use?
In the wikipedia, cat calling is described as, “a whistle, shout, or comment of a sexual nature to a woman passing by.” The bottom line is that cat calling is inconsiderate.
In an article that Carlos Andres Gomez wrote on the Good Men Project he rallies for men to grow up. He writes about the wrongs of cat calling. He reports that these unsolicited cries for affection go unattended by women, but men still engage in them. I can’t help but wonder why mama didn’t teach you any manners, and that if you have a comment about a woman being beautiful, you need to tell her politely. Respect is a little thing that goes a long way. Cat calling is no better than any form of sexual harassment that takes place in society today.
When I recently went to Las Vegas on a ladies trip, I was completely enamored by the overall lack of respect and consideration for women. I walked to the restroom and a man grabbed my arm in order to spring chatter in my ear about my looks. Let’s just say, it was not well received. Others in small crowds there thought it okay to grab a women’s ass. I don’t care who she is or what she is wearing, sexual harassment is sexual harassment. Just because a woman is wearing something sexy, does not give you a free pass to act like a dick. Cat calls are trashy. Quarters to your cat calls men, it’s time to buy a clue.